The Last Goodbye
by Charcoal Hearts
Summary: Beast's POV of that day when Beauty rode off to visit her father:"The view of the snow outside had begun to blur. Everything blended in like one big watercolor painting. But I could not cry. The tears refused to fall from this rock hard heart." Songfic


A/N: So I was watching Bourne Identity the alternative ending. And this song was in it. And the moment I heard it…sigh…it was love at first sight. So I _had _to do something with this song. (Seriously, I have no idea why it's not popular. It's a great song that you just can't miss. I suggest listening to it while reading the story. It contributes to the sadness) And I thought and thought and said "Ahah! I will put this in a Beauty and the Beast fanfic." So I did. I guess it doesn't really fit but…oh well. The song really deserves some credit. "In the Sun" By Joseph Arthur. 

P.S. If you actually understand the song, please e-mail me or something. I only have a vague guess of what this song is about. Or if you have a better song that fits into this text, I'd be glad to hear your suggestion. AND as always, R&R.

**The Last Goodbye**

On that night, I imagined everything to be perfect. We would come down from opposite balconies. Me, squeezed into a suit, trying to hold together all the humanness I had still in me for just this perfect moment that I could not bear to spoil. You, in your sparkling golden dress swishing around your legs as you make your way down the steps, shining as if the sun itself was hidden behind your very back…

_I picture you in the sun wondering what went wrong…_

But I had not expected the homesickness. So when you confronted me with that tired frown in a tangle of grief, pain and the struggle to keep it hidden, I was worried.

_And falling down on your knees asking for sympathy…_

You said you missed your father and I could not understand. This close bond between father and daughter. I tried, but all that surfaced in my mind were the painful memories of my duty as prince. The strict parenting, the thousand mile long list of things I could not do. The frustration of it all. The powerful loathing I developed towards my parents. And the final realization that I could not be like those other boys playing carefree in the mud with their wooden boats, giggling as the puppies licked their owners' dirty noses. I could never be. Atthree months, I was a toddler, at age seven, I was an adolescent and at fourteen, I was already an adult. Because I had to be.

But I decided it was not my time to learn how your mind operated. All that mattered was your carefree, lighthearted smile. And right now it was not there.

So when you presented me with the problem, what could I have said? Since the time from whence you first set foot on this shadowed castle to Now, my mouth had somehow become detached from connections to my brain and I found myself saying words I had not planned to say. I was showing you the mirror and telling how it worked. And for a fraction of a second, I saw that glimmer of a pleased smile dancing in your eyes and I was content. Until you looked into the glass.

_And being caught in between all you wish for and all you see  
And trying to find anything you can feel that you can believe…_

I wished I had not shown the mirror to you. Your eyes watered as your perfect eyebrows furrowed in concern. In an instant, you were begging to go back. I could not understand why you loved your father so much. The old man was so old, it seemed that death was already upon his door. But as I saw a sliver of a tear sneak down the side of your cheek, I knew that I would never understand. So what could I do? I let you go.

_May God's love be with you  
Always  
May God's love be with you..._

So you gathered your few belongings, snatched up your cloak without a moment's hesitation, all the while thinking only of your father…perhaps. Did you realize for a fraction of a second, the consequences that would befall me? It would have been selfish of me to point out how much time I had left but I had only thought of you and your happiness. In my most selfless moment, I had become selfish. I bit my lip decided not to utter a word. But if you had realized the stakes, the dangerous game you had fallen into, would you still have left?

_I know I would apologize if I could see your eyes  
'cause when you showed me myself I became someone else…_

I gave you the mirror, hoping it might help you. After all, it was no longer any use to me. I saw the lingering hold of the last petal on the rose and knew all too well what it meant. You were my only hope, my salvation, the only light that shined in this dark, ice-cold palace…and you were leaving me behind.

_But I was caught in between all you wish for and all you need…_

But there is still hope, a small voice whispered in the back of my mind. She promised she would return…

And what is a promise but a string of hopeful words with a dot at the end?  
And what is a Love but hormones turned into a four sounds made by the mouth?

I_ picture you fast asleep  
A nightmare comes  
You can't keep awake..._

I stared at the window closely as you rode off into the woods, hoping that the wolves would not catch your scent. Still stared long after you were out of sight, with a question that would not leave me alone. Would you come back?

_May God's love be with you  
Always  
May God's love be with you…_

But who would come back to a terror-inducing monster? A sinister castle made into a prison? Who would come back to an anger filled dangerous beast? An enchanted palace bound by an evil curse? Who would come back…to me?

_'Cause if I find-  
If I find my own way  
How much will I find…  
If I find-  
If I find my own way  
How much will I find  
You…_

Even if you did come back, it was obvious that you would not come back in time. I suppose the enchantress knew from the very beginning that this was what would happen to me. The punishment…the ultimate pain of losing the one you love. And I was so close and yet so far. The view of the snow outside had begun to blur. Everything blended in like one big watercolor painting. But I could not cry. The tears refused to fall from this rock hard heart.

_I don't know anymore  
What it's for  
I'm not even sure…_

How much time had passed before I finally tore my eyes away from the window? I could not even guess. All the wishes in the world could not have saved me now. I suppose I simply had to be content with knowing that you were happy.

_If there is anyone who is in the sun  
Will you help me to understand  
'Cause I been caught in between all I wish for and all I need…_

But will you remember me like I remember you? Was I just a monster with an enormous temper? Was I simply a cold shadow that kept you hostage behind these stone walls? Will you remember Cogsworth, Mrs. Potts or Lumiere? Will you remember me? The boy in beast clothing? Or will these precious memories fade, blown away by the winds of time?

_Maybe you're not even sure what it's for  
Any more than me…_

Mrs. Potts had come in then, to notify that the villagers had finally found the castle hidden deep in the great forest. But her voice was a far away whisper. It did not matter that the villagers were breaking down the door to the main hall. It did not matter that they had come to kill the Beast. It did not matter. Nothing mattered, for I was already gone.

_May god's love be with you  
Always  
May god's love be with you…_

Goodbye.


End file.
